Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
