Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
