I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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