I must be too annoying 4 u.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
