How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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