who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
