How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
