So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
