Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
