Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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