Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
