She is in my trunk
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
