i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
