You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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