why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
