Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
