We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I AM VODKA MAN
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
