you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
