So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
