Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
