Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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