A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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