He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
