thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
