I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
