i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
