Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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