i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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