Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
