SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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