Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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