when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Randomize
