i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
