dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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