exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
