hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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