i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
