I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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