Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
