K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
