Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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