I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
