coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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