Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
