I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
