I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
