You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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