I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
