Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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