Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
